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Blogs > Sarah1's blogs > When is too old to have kids?
When is too old to have kids? Sort by:
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sarah1
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Posted on 01/04/2007

67 year old woman just had twins. Science has levelled the playing field for the genders on this question. But science hasn't yet caught up with regard to increasing lifespan of the parents.

James Brown (INCREDIBLE singer) just left a toddler fatherless. There's a Beatle with an infant who is also a senior citizen. Our former Prime Minister Trudeau left a 10 year old girl behind.

Obviously rich and famous women have the choice of giving birth later as they can access the new health techniques. Stars are giving birth in their 40's or 50's where a c ommon woman may not feel safe in doing so. There is the risk of Down Syndrome or worse. There is the ultrasound, amneocentesis, etc. to check if everything is alright. But what if it wasn't!? OMG

I can't imagine being faced with that. I was 6 months gone when a stupid, thoughless co-worker asked me "what if something's wrong with it?" I was tortured from that day forward. What if something was wrong with "it"? Could I "terminate the pregnancy"? If I were capable of doing that I wouldn't have struggled through 16 years of single parenthood (so far)now would I?

Dunno where this rant came from. Just jealous I guess. I've wanted twins forever. I know too many WONDERFUL people who sat on wait lists for years and never did get a child to love. While so many are being "terminated"....

Sheesh covered a few edgy topics here, ought to garner a few heated responses!! That's what blogging's for! Keep it friendly folks!



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rumplestilskin2010
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Posted on 11/03/2007

]quote[67 year old woman just had twins. Science has levelled the playing field for the genders on this question. But science hasn't yet caught up with regard to increasing lifespan of the parents.]quote[

sarah's 1st paragraph says a lot here.... this very controversial topic comes VERY close to the pro-life/pro-choice topics...it's all up to the keeper of the womb...
BUT...!!!
a. how many dr./scientists are 'pushing' the conception area beyond the menopausal zone....
b. how much thought is the 'mother to be' giving to the child's post secondary school development...??? consider the amount of baby-boomers whose parents are still alive to witness the results of tears and smiles. the age spread being 20-25 years on average....
c. how many parents post 60's, 70's, 80's 90's have had THEIR children become their parent/guardian... the child becomes the parent...
d. in some cases is this another version of a female 'midlife' crisis to bear more children... to 'feel' what it's like to have a baby again...??? stella gets her groove back...
e. and DO recognize on this side of the globe now and in previous years how many GRANDMA's are being mom to the G-baby due to mom's work schedule, school, no funds for daycare, single parent or not... the number of G-mom moms out there just might surprise....
it's still a very personal decision.... it's her womb and she can do what she wants to...but really should talk with gyno-man...
f. and there's the adoption side of the coin......

however i do have to pose a question.... if a post menopausal woman wishes to breast feed her newborn does she need to have a current 'give-by date' on her...brea...???
nevermind..... it's time for the hourly update on britney spears....


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angelaforyou
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Posted on 11/03/2007


Re:

VickySweets write:
However, I do truly fear the fact that my antique eggs may be the source of my child not being as smart as me (or the rest of my family), being born retarded or being born with a horribly disabling birth defect.
I so want a family and a child of my own but I don't want to ruin my own child's life because of age.




Vicky, before you decide to have a baby, make sure that your gynecologist is one of the best in your city, believe me you will be OK, don't fear, because it would be cast a shadow over the most wonderful time of a mom - time of expecting a baby...



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angelaforyou
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Posted on 11/02/2007


Re:

VickySweets write:
....hoochbags in thier 20s who get pregnant to trap a man and then run the streets looking for the next man when he leaves

...some young idiot...




How can you love your child Vicky if you hate the youth?

Don't hate the youth, just because they are young. There are many mature, educated and intelligent people in their 20s, my daughter who is 26 sometimes is wiser than me.



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angelaforyou
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Posted on 11/02/2007

Don't mix responsibility with fear, Veronica...

Just one last thought about having kids.
For thousands of years human females give birth to babies at very young age, only in the second half of the last century women started postponing this duty. They started to pay more attention to their carriers or money, who knows what other subjects...
The only advantage of becoming a mother at the age of 30 or even 40 is financial status (I remember as a single young mother I couldn't afford to buy the most expensive toys or dresses for my girls and it was painful), but I do believe that mentally and emotionally a young lady can be at least as good mom as a woman in 40s.


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rumplestilskin2010
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Posted on 11/01/2007

]quote[...but you have done the same rumplestilskin as you say " dragging bits of blogs from one room to another..."]quote[

you have a knack of making your point 'convenient' without support... so it is agreed.... NOTHING to fuss over...


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VickySweets
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Posted on 11/01/2007

My father is a brilliant, self-made millionaire who was born to a mother in her 40s and a father in his late 30s. Fortunately she had, at least, one good egg left so he was born brilliant, tall and handsome. However, he is the exception and not the rule. Women, especially educated, experienced women in thier 40s generally make much better moms than hoochbags in thier 20s who get pregnant to trap a man and then run the streets looking for the next man when he leaves (and he will always leave because you can never really trap a man.) In addition, my mother is 66 and still looks better than at least half the woman I have seen in thier late 40s to early 50s. She also has more energy than me :-) Like my dad, she too is brilliant (which is why they lasted.) Regardless, the health of any child born to an older woman IS a very real concern. I know that I can be a great mom (much better than some young idiot) in my 40s. As for being hip and in-tune - since I usually only attract men in thier early 20s, I must still have a pretty good handle on whats popping off with the youth :-) However, I do truly fear the fact that my antique eggs may be the source of my child not being as smart as me (or the rest of my family), being born retarded or being born with a horribly disabling birth defect. That alone should be the greatest concern for an older woman contemplating having a child. I have great genetics, when it comes to aging (look at my pics 41 all me, no wrinkles, no surgery, no injectibles.) Whether I look old or not, I am educated and well read on this topic. Thus, I am fully aware of the fact that my age, and my age alone, would be the reason for my child being born deformed, retarded, not very intelligent or even with a learning disability. Taking that risk with someone else's life is terribly frightening ... I have nightmares and panic attacks every day because I so want a family and a child of my own but I don't want to ruin my own child's life because of age.



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angelaforyou
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Posted on 11/01/2007

Just wanted to ask you Veronica which is better to have young crazy parents or old and senile.
What's for sourness of the grape, I will admit you that the idea of having a baby crossed my crazy mind recently, but after I asked myself the following questions:
1, would I be able to spend sleepless nights next to the bed of my crying baby when I am in my 40s?
2, would I be able to help my child with it's homework (to follow the requirements of school program) when I am in my 50s?
3, would I be able to be mentally and emotionally close to my kid when it is a teenage, to be able to talk about his favorite singers and groups, to listen to loud rock or metal music when you are close to 60?

I am really glad that I did it all when I was younger, and I am glad that my daughter was always proud of her young and attractive mom, and she was proud of me on her wedding ceremony when friends of her groom complimented her mother....



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rumplestilskin2010
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Posted on 10/31/2007

]quote["Having prejudice is ugly..... 24/7/365".
Yeah...who wrote that...
Wasnt it Elvis (yes the real Presley...no copies like 4bmo or/and ks...) who sang "I Slipped,I Stumbled,I Fell"...You fell here rumplestilskin,finally...]quote[

keep laughing... joke's on you.... dragging bits of blogs from one room to another doesn't qualify... it's just another ill-begotten facet of 'cut and paste' mentality to feel some kind of self satisfaction making a poignant post in a multi-opinion topic... and DO double check your definition of prejudice.... it comes without knowledge and it appears you have done that very act here....
get to sleep earlier, you're mixing rooms and topics...


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rumplestilskin2010
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Posted on 10/31/2007

]quote[We are taking driving licence for driving a car but the society is obviously not asking for driving licence when it comes to become a parent.]quote[

nice parallel... driving a car and driving a baby...being able to have a child starts and ends with evolution and mother nature... it's the scientists and medical profession who have pushed the womb to engage another resident for momma's post menopausal zone...WHEN to have a child are the 'dicktates' of that particular society and the mortality of the 'rents thereof.....big decision... tuff call..... consider this... child passes 20... parent passes from old age.....
however, more and more women are having their FIRST child after 30-35 in contemporary society than ever before...



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angelaforyou
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Posted on 10/30/2007

Veronica I expressed my opinion, you expressed yours. There is nothing to do with prejudice. But if you ask scientists or doctors they will probably say that the ideal age for a woman to have a baby is from 24 to 30. If you have a baby at 40 you are most likely to never see your grandchildren, unless you live longer than 80...



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angelaforyou
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Posted on 10/28/2007

Nice topic Sarah,
I became a mother for the first time when I was 21. Now I know that I was immature enough for having a baby.
I believe that ideal age for a woman to have a baby is 30, she is young enough to have a healthy baby, yet quite experienced and mature to bring it up.
If you are over 40 there is a big risk to leave your child orphaned, or being asked: "how old is your grandson?"



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rumplestilskin2010
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Posted on 10/27/2007